I got this email recently:
„I struggle with letting go of where I’d like to be in pole dancing.
I’d like to be more advanced, fluid and agile with the pole.
But I’m having a hard time simply accepting my level.”
This is not just a beginner issue. Throughout the pole journey, we constantly question our progress: Am I strong enough, graceful enough, impressive enough? Am I progressing too slow?
Naturally, our dreams get bigger, as we get more advanced. Additionally, we get obsessed with watching professional videos of beautiful pole routines, that seem easy and achievable. Expectations rise, while we distance ourselves from our own reality.
No wonder disappointment replaces excitement, when we get back to training. We start worrying and get impatient. Often we’d spend more time worrying about our progress, than actually putting the work in.
But imagine for a second that there was no one and nothing, that you can compare yourself with. Then you would be the most awesome person in the world! Right?
Well, guess what?! YOUR pole dancing skills are exactly where they need to be. You’re perfectly fine by being the best version of yourself in this very moment.
You can’t force things, before you’re ready for them.
You can’t force your body to move in a way it’s never moved before. It leads to nothing but frustration.
Even though there are many „quick wins“ in pole dancing, the best skills are long-term goals. Like developing your own dancing style, fluidity, expression, performing, etc.
It’s skills that you develop over time – with a lot of practice. It won’t happen overnight, but with focus and consistency you’ll get there much faster.
Here’s my advice to you, if you want to achieve these long-term skills:
1. Be curious and get nerdy about it.
2. Examine your pole idols and explore your own movement.
3. Focus on little improvements one step at a time. At a pace that’s comfortable for your body and at your current level.
4. Let the rest develop naturally. Trust the process. Know that it will all come together, when you’re ready for it.
The other day I found following piece of wisdom in the numerous answers to my recent survey. From a 60+ pole dancer Jobst:
“For me it is a bit like open sea swimming – with currents, countercurrents, waves, tides, temperature, jelly fish, seals and whales. Your body and mind has to be ready and it might change daily… Listen to your body and when ready, grab a chance to move on the next level.”
Have you ever been struggling with accepting your current level? And how do you deal with this today? Let me know in the comments below.